Vietnameseness

Vietnameseness, what is Vietnameseness?

Here I am, 100% Vietnamese inside and out, past, present and maybe future. My nationality can change but my heritage cannot. I was born into a Vietnamese family, a family with a rich history. I grew up with Vietnamese culture, a culture that’s both stable and chaotic. Here I am, 100% Vietnamese biologically and culturally. But many have said that I don’t seem Vietnamese. I agree with that, but I also replied that I am very Vietnamese. Why is that? What is Vietnameseness?

It’s stubbornness that characterizes so many Vietnamese. Is stubbornness a trait of ‘Vietnameseness’? Maybe. The country boasts a rich history of heroes and heroines who stood up to internal oppression and external invasion all the time. Our language even has a proverb “9 người 10 ý”, translated as 9 people 10 ideas, to describe how we hold discussions. Rarely do Vietnamese come to consensus without force being used. Now, is your mind already working on millions of objections even though deep down you agree? See the point I made about stubbornness?

On the other hand, one might argue that because of stubbornness, Vietnamese people have the ability to nurture strong undercurrents of intelligentsia. Now, that’s something I believe is worthy of being characterized as part of “Vietnameseness”. I call that ‘being stubborn not just for the sake of being stubborn.’ One can train their stubbornness into useful perseverance if it has an objective. A stubbornness without an objective is as useful as throwing eggs against rocks.

Another characteristic that makes Vietnamese so popular is their enthusiasm. You see smiles everywhere you go, especially if you’re a tourist. You notice their boisterous laughters when they listen to you talk, the light in their eyes when they look at you, their wholehearted efforts to buy things for you or to cook food for you or to take you to places. You notice right away that when they ask you about your background, your job, your family, they’re not doing it out of courtesy, but out of actual curiosity or sometimes, genuine concern. You notice they’re not hesitant to share their lunch with you, give you cookies when you say you’re hungry, or give you a ride when you don’t have one. They’re doing it with full enthusiasm until one day, whether you’re Vietnamese or a foreigner – it doesn’t matter, you grow a bit tired of it all, because deep down you question why they’re being so nice to you, and you wonder if you have to do anything in return.

Let me tell you something: 99% of the time, Vietnamese expect a fair share of things. We even have a proverb “Có qua có lại”, which means “I give you something you give me something”. It might not reflect a calculating nature. It’s just that they believe everything in the world should be about helping others and they expect to be treated the same way. They are not breaking it down like I am (fair share, transactional relationships), because it’s ingrained that it’s the right thing to do. Enthusiasm reflects a communal way of living and most are simply oblivious to the fact that there are other ways to live.

A relaxed nature is another famous characteristic. This is quite problematic when it comes to work. Half-hearted jobs, prolonged hours of breaks, treating the workplace too casually, are all side-effects of this relaxed nature. A Vietnamese will likely interpret anger or disappointment as a passing thing, and believe that in order to be happy in life, you must turn a blind eye to certain issues. Most won’t aspire to have careers, and are just satisfied with a routine job that does not require them to do ‘too much’.

But because of this nature, they don’t take things too seriously. Vietnamese will not analyze issues too much, whether they are work-related to relationship-related. To them life is constantly moving on like the flow of motorbikes they have to be in every day. If they keep dwelling on a situation, analyzing it, contemplating it, they risk being hit by something. To them, it’s as foolish as staying still in traffic to analyze the flow and then get hit by another bike. They surf the surface of things, until one day, something ticks them off and they explode. Which is not pleasant.

I might have come across as being critical and dismissive of ‘Vietnameseness’ because I wrote about both negative and positive sides of Vietnamese characteristics. I might also have come across as trying to defend the shortcomings of Vietnamese. My intention is totally different. The point I want to make is simple: There are multiple sides to everything, and “Vietnameseness” is not a fixed set of characteristics. It is constantly expanding and changing due to you. You can choose to develop the positive side and manage the negative side or you can choose to do the opposite. Contrary to popular belief, it is actually simple to set certain rules or define yourself in certain ways and live according to them. It is simple to say “I’m Vietnamese” when you’re late or you’re being stubborn, but that’s not being fair to the country or the culture. You’re not doing your country, your heritage, your culture any good if you use them as excuses for personal shortcomings.

Are you feeling grand?

I’ve met people who work in advertising (just another soul-sucking, money-driven like any other corporate business) and think that they are better than anyone.

I’ve met someone who proclaimed they could write better than all other writers, and somewhere in their paragraph lurked a grammar mistake. Yes, maybe it’s too tiny for their grandiose self to notice.

I’ve met someone who declared they worked so hard and they’re so talented that their friends couldn’t possibly keep up with them. Only I found out later that they couldn’t hold on to their job.

I’ve met someone who boasted about grand hopes and dreams, without backing them up with efforts to actually do any work.

I’ve met so many who boast about parties they attend, people they know, friends they hang out with, the kind of places they are seen at, without having a single piece of work that they’re proud of.

People seem to think that creatives (in advertising, this refers to art directors, copywriters, designers, visualizers, etc.) need to uphold a certain lifestyle in order for them to be considered creative. They need to smoke, drink, belittle others and praise themselves in order to be creative.

I call that delusional. Advertising is like any other industry, in the sense that if you want to succeed, work and stop feeling so grand about yourself.

Just ‘good enough’

In my short life with some exposure to the academic world and the corporate world,  I realize one of the things I ask other people most often is: “Why don’t you…?” or “Why can’t you…?”. Gradually I come to terms with the fact that most people are annoyed by that kind of questions, for they don’t want to do more work.

Doing just enough, or delivering something just good enough, seems to be a clichéd motto going around students and workers. Not only that, most choose to do just enough in their own way, which most of the time is a far cry from the expectations of superiors, or general standards. Most wouldn’t even acknowledge the existence of standards, for in their mind their way of doing things is the only way.

It alarmed me when someone who wants to be a writer confessed that they had never read a ‘real’ book. Real book means a book of proper writing, and no, comics don’t count. The reason – why should I read something while all I want to do is write? It shows such disrespect that it left me dumb-founded. Again, a reflection of the mindset “my-way-is-the-right-way”, and a refusal to acknowledge the standards, and go the extra mile to meet them. Oh how potent is the poison of this ‘me-me-me’ generation!

I’ve had people asking me how many hours a day I spent studying after they’d seen my academic records. If I respect the person asking, I’d laugh and tell them the truth. If I don’t, I’d stare at them for a while, and then let out an exasperated sigh (just to mess with their head ). I’m not driven by long hours or hard work, as no one in the right mind is, but I’m driven by the best results. Good enough is never enough, for the bars should and will always be raised, not lowered. For people who are so ready to settle for mediocrity and ‘my-way-is-the-right-way’, when will they realize they won’t have a place in a world that’s more than ‘good enough’?